This is Nourish Your Soul Week. We are well in to summer and it is time to start enjoying it. This week is dedicated to just that, enjoyment of life. All week I will posting about things- music, books, people, and lots of other goodness that Nourishes my Soul. What nourishes you?
Read Part 1 of the Interview with Byron Katie here.
Read Part 2 of the Interview with Byron Katie here.
Part 3: Free of Fear. Free of Addiction. Free to Love
My idea of freedom- cooling off in a rain forest waterfall. Dominica, January 2009
The basic gift of The Work extends beyond the freedom of individual peace. Freeing ourselves from believing our own thoughts, helps free us from fear. According to Katie, fear is what stops us from serving others. Fear makes us believe we are too busy to help, that we’ll do it later, that we can’t afford to help. What I found very profound in my conversation with Byron Katie was when we talked about helping others and she made the truthful statement, “How can we afford not to help others?”
“Our true nature, when free of fear”, Katie explains and exemplifies, “is truly loving and caring”. I asked her how she handles situations when she sees people suffering and knows she has the tools of The Work to free them from their suffering but that they are not open or ready to receive them.
Katie said that she is simply present with them. That is something simple we can all offer to each other. When we are able to shed ourselves from our own fear, we are no longer afraid of another human being’s suffering and we can open ourselves up with compassion, love and caring. Being on the receiving end of non-judgmental, open and honest love, is as beneficial to anyone’s healing as questioning their negative thoughts, taking the correct dosages of supplements, eating a balanced breakfast, or getting in a daily yoga practice or run. There is nothing more nourishing to our health and wellbeing than giving and receiving truly heartfelt love.
Freedom of a flower to grow out from a stone wall. Taken in Dominica, January 2009
Before the violins start playing, lets get into the question of arguments. I asked Katie if she ever finds herself in disputes, in spite of her open, loving nature. She said no, that a dispute can’t happen unless someone is defending a position and that defense is the first act of war. But she also said that one challenge we have as human beings, and where even she finds herself tripped up at times, is around communication. She is always learning clear communication, which is so important, in the world of our perception.
Again, this comes back to our own fear. Often we are afraid to share the genuine love that is in our hearts. Our communication, our words, actions and body language do not accurately portray, or come across, as we had intended. All too frequently, thoughts get in the way and the person receiving the communication superimposes their own thoughts onto what they heard. How often have we asked the question “What do you mean by that?” This leads us to jump to conclusions, make assumptions and fear the worst. All of which happens in our own minds, with our thoughts, not in reality. This is very common in partnerships where little disagreements turn in to great big arguments.
Once we can free ourselves from the suffering caused by our own thoughts, it becomes an ongoing practice to work on the clearest communication possible. A fearless state of mind communicates as clearly as it can.
When I press Katie on the idea that we will invariably suffer at points in our life, that times do get tough if we should, for example, fall ill or lose a loved one. Katie gives a light sigh and I can sense her smile in her voice, “Oh goodness, sweetheart, all we have is reality and our sanity. Life is what it is”. Amen to that. Should we fight what is reality, think the thoughts that wish life to be different, that is when we suffer
The Work is an effective method for achieving the joy we seek in our lives. In Katie’s words, “The Work provides the opportunity to be 100% responsible for our own life and our own actions, and when it is time to choose, we are clear… Once we question our stressful thoughts, our choices become radically different”. The Work enables us to wake up to what the real problem is. Our negative thoughts are not the problem. Believing them is.
Byron Katie will be in Toronto from October 2nd-4th to conduct a three day workshop. Get the details on the event or find out how you can win tickets to this event, click here.
This is a wonderful read Meghan! I think I am going to find her book! It is very very intriguing to me.
I even think I will come back and really absorb your post over the last couple days when I have more time!
LOVE IT!
great food for thought!
Happy Wednesday
Meghan, your interview with Byron Katie is beautifully written. Part Three really speaks to me, more notably the part that says an argument can only occur when you are defending a position.
The days when my health is out of my control I most certainly defend my negative thoughts. This whole week has been a crapfest of doubt for me; reading this post has brought me some clarity on the matter in which my thoughts rise and fall.
Thank both you ladies for spreading the peace and love.
Fascinating stuff! Simple in theory, yet so hard to accomplish in reality. She must be awesome in person.
Thanks for another amazing post. Where else could anyone get this kind of information in such a perfect way of writing.
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